\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. I Am A Comedy Genius. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving faster than you is a maniac, and anyone going slower than you is a moron? harry potah! So change that to something silly! "Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels to make the cremation a bit more interesting. I am crazy. I'm about to pass a fist across your face. If at first you dont succeed, try, try again. I watch them all on TV. Yep, thats about it just a confusing answer. They say sarcasm shows weakness, but who gives a crap what they think?! I'm not really tired. 19 Funny Texting Comebacks To Always Come Out On Top - TextGod.com ", 143. ", 54. "Being an adult is looking both ways before you cross the street and getting hit by an airplane. Al McGuire. When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Your email address will not be published. Biologically speaking, if something bites you its more likely to be female. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. Ive had worse. "Common sense is like deodorant. They say marriages are made in Heaven. I wanted to give you a different answer, but what do I have? She can try our wine bar. Funny Response to How Are You There are many fun things we could say and people will think that you're smart and interesting! 80 Funny, Witty & Creative Response to How Are You?, 23 Free Amigurumi Bear Patterns for All Skill Levels, 27 Free Amigurumi Koala Patterns (Super Cute! If youre too open-minded; your brains will fall out. "Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!" "If life gives you lemons, then be thankful for it. Here are some examples you could use. Its hard to wake up in the morning when youre always tired. What's a good comeback for "Ok, and?" : r/Comebacks - Reddit It looks fun. Be yourself is about the worst advice you can give some people. Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? Answer: Bill. 80 Funny, Witty & Creative Response to "How Are You?" - My Clever Mind [Verse: Cordae . 1. Fortunately, I love money. Like I said, it's mean but ostracizing him might be thw only way he'll understand. Steven Wright, 116. If you want to be funny, then read on, because I have put together some silly responses that will make you laugh until your stomach hurts! But you can be funny and creative with that response too! If someone calls you a mean name, then return the favor with one of these funny comebacks: I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral. If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant. ", 138. When he sends you a flirty text, you know he's into you! Age is just a number. It could always have been worse. If the other person goes along with it, chances are they are a good egg with a good sense of humour. ", 153. Andrea Piacquadio | Pexels. Some funny people are born to troll. "You're giving me the silent treatment? Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching. When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who werent smart enough to get out of jury duty. Well, I was trying to be invisible but I guess that didnt work. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always. ", 93. Take a look here because I will show you that there are so many other ways to answer this question than with Im fine.. "Don't confuse a smile with someone baring teeth. "Sometimes I wish I were a nicer person, but then I laugh and continue my day. "I love being me. The people who need it most never use it. The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. Related - 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No) Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" What does it look like I'm doing? Keep asking and maybe one day youll get a sensible answer. "My alone time is sometimes for your safety. ", 136. Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. ", 154. For those who didnt, heres the lady. People say that laughter is the best medicine your face must be curing the world., 26. "I am currently under construction. "Marry me and Ill never look at another horse!" A verbal contract isnt worth the paper its written on. This wasnt for any religious reasons. Patrick Murray, 166. Youre so smart is one awesome compliment. Not me, Im pretty depressed but thanks for asking. Teasing him a little will keep him guessing about whether or not you feel the same way. ", 165. The same old answers get boring, so you should try a little bit of humor at times because you might make someone laugh instead of feeling awkward. If at first you dont succeed, quit. ", 89. ", 43. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Good Morning! The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better. 30 Best Replies To "Do I Know You?" (Funny & Polite) Cleaning up with children around is like shoveling during a blizzard. You don't fit in a box. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. Thanks to German artist Jrg Dsterwald who is a specialized body painter. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Trust me, it's not out of my way at all. Otherwise, how are people going to get the message that you dont want to keep answering the same questions with the same half-hearted answers? "Didn't sleep much but I did get a solid few hours of worrying done. "When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in peoples' eyes. Can you find it? Inside me theres a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. ", 52. In America, one sure sign of success is the presence of an unnecessary waterfall in a persons yard. My anxiety levels now you're here. Beset with the flu? If I let go, she shops. Everything is funny, as long as its happening to somebody else. Here are 10 crazy photos that will test your intelligence! True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country. ", 102. Im doing my part to conserve electricity; I turned off my smiley face lamp. I used to have some immunity built up, but obviously there is a new strain out there. Us sarcastic people, we're freakin' smart! I asked you to find YOUR NAME. Sarah Rees Brennan, 117. So, how does average sound? ", 76. Like awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome-er than before! Someones losing a trailer, number one. Robin Williams, Actor, 21. ", 51. I lost it when I hit 'delete. "When I ask for directions, please don't use words like 'East. If you don't feel like explaining how you're feeling, then don't. There's no reason why you should have to express your emotions to whoever asked. I am an early bird and a night owl so I am wise and I have worms. "Hell hath no fury like your kid catching you throwing ANYTHING away EVER. This article has been viewed 46,489 times. If karma doesnt hit you, I gladly will., 81. I dont want to give off the wrong impression., 104. 11 Creative Ways To Answer 'How Are You?' - Mabel Kwong Anonymous, 160. You know you're funny. ", 146. Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. "Yeah, I'm a pacifist. Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool. Now quiet! It's just that your level of ignorance has rendered me speechless. When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. "My life is just a series of awkward and humiliating moments separated by snacks. The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter. If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. Groucho Marx, 121. Love is. 17. Money is not the most important thing in the world. Lyrical Lemonade, Juice WRLD & Cordae - Doomsday - Genius The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius. Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. 65+ Funny Responses to Everyday Questions! - Self Development Journey "I became insane with long periods intervals of horrible sanity." In case you havent noticed, Im weird. What's the best response to 'you're not funny?'. Its amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. Here are some funny, witty, snarky, smart, and sarcastic responses to some of those annoying everyday questions its hard to avoid: I couldnt possibly cover all of the annoying everyday questions that are probably chipping away at you, but here are some of the most popular: Related 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), Related 29+ Funny Responses to Compliments. But there actually some little-known signs that could mark you as a genius, or at least part of the way there. ", 140. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. 3) Come hither, Matthew 4) Your customer should come before anyone else 5) PSA: A five-star review is a good thing! wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. A humorous reply can be a great way to break the ice and make the conversation more enjoyable. And those flashing lights on top of your car look ridiculous. Check-in later and well find out if I did or not. A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year. Please be patient. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. ", 63. Gene Perret, 108. If they reply with "lol", let it be known that you know they didn't actually "laugh out loud". Whoever said money cant buy happiness didnt know where to shop. You might remember the original Windows desktop wallpaper photo, depicting an idyllic green hill on a summer day. "Ill try being nicer, if you try being smarter., 72. Im not saying I hate you, what Im saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life., 3. If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? You cannot soar with the eagles as long as you hang out with the turkeys. "Life is short. "Whenever I go running, I meet new people like paramedics. I love sarcasm. ", 195. The best comebacks make you look mature. "If you dont want a sarcastic answer, then dont ask a stupid question. Hakuna Matata!' Pretend you're a character or someone else for fun. Let's take a look. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. Anonymous, 168. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\n<\/p><\/div>"}, I think I misheard you. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? It was in my business. What do you say when people ask you that? "Yeah, the plague will do that to you." 4. Unfortunately, they dont have a J.O.B. I'm on silent mode today. When I hear somebody sigh, Life is hard, I am always tempted to ask, Compared to what?. I just had a deep conversation with myself. Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. Got it, eh? Theres no point in being a damn fool about it. Published on Jul 28, 2016. You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn;t that long ago we were swept away by the Macarena. Nada. Im still trying to figure out an answer to that question if Im honest. "If they act like they can live without you Help them do it. "Instead of 'have a nice day,' I think I'll start saying, 'have the day you deserve.' ", 173. "The older I get the less surprised I think I'd be if a random body part just fell off one day. "Love is a fire. On a scale of 1 to 10, Id say somewhere between 1 and 10. 2) That's one way to complete your date with a happy ending! Well at least your mom thinks youre pretty., 31. It is already tomorrow in Australia. The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. I just remembered what you said and then apparently forgot again. Theyre about to announce the lottery numbers. Smile while you still have teeth. Home / Knowledge / 80 Funny, Witty & Creative Response to How Are You?, Do you ever feel like people are always asking the same question? 1. [Chorus] Did I say murder, oh? You can respond with such ways to add humor to the situation. I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. "Sweating while you shop counts as exercise. "I don't go crazy. I hope you stay there. "My favorite party trick is not going. I have been getting only the peels for as long as I can remember! What's the point in trying to hide it? "When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark. I wouldnt camp out for five days if was camping. I put a lot of thought into it., This has been a passion project, so thank you for saying that., Thank you. I have asked . Im a weirdo. Jughead in Riverdale Series, Its how ARE you, not how arrrr you! Inspired by Hermione Granger, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! Mary Poppins, Everythings shiny, Capn. Then by all means follow that path. 1. What do you think are the most iconic/funny BTS quotes amongst - Reddit "Whats a queen without her king? ", 82. This task is really simple, you have to find your name in the mix of the alphabets. Its that one question that everyone asks, How are you?. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. "You couldn't handle me even if I came with instructions. I could say the same about you!, Next to you, Id say youre the smart one., Thank you so much! Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. "I'll get over it. All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height. Never follow anyone elses path. 3. "It's amazing how clean my house can get when I'm pissed off. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. Yes, it was signed at the bottom of the paper, speaking in literal terms. The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. Want to equip yourself with more responses? If you think nobody cares if youre alive, try missing a couple of car payments. If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you. But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future. Open 10 till late. It does not matter whether you win or lose, what matters is whether I win or lose! Its a recession when your neighbor loses his job; its a depression when you lose yours. ", 57. Everything is awesome! Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face., 19. "Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face. Free downloads. 7 Unexpected Signs You Might Be a Genius (Backed by Science) The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that still carries any reward. ", 119. I barely take suggestions. At every party there are two kinds of people those who want to go home and those who dont. The kids a genuine pain in the ass I tell you. "Understimate me. Once you give up integrity, the rest is a piece of cake. "Its ok if you disagree with me. My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. 5. Find out by watching the video! Sarcasm is the bodys natural defense against stupidity., 11. The first one left me and the second one didnt." Oscar Wilde, 110. The opposite of down. - Quora. I Know. We spend the first twelve months of our childrens lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. Neither one works." Everyone always asks me how I am doing because they expect me to say that I feel great. I feel like a chicken in a burger factory. "I'm not tired. Call in sick to places you don't even work at. I have put together examples that will make your conversations more interesting. Some people are going to find your witty responses funny, and some people arent. A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you dont need it. "When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her." Youve got to be very careful if you dont know where you are going, because you might not get there. Simply reply, 'Yes.' "Marriage. The best thing you can do is say Thanks! along with whatever comes to mind naturally. ", 142. ", 36. I intend to live forever. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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