Even if you dont realize it, you have incredible strength and independence as a woman. If this is the case, let someone help you. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. During challenging times, she turns her focus to gratitude and optimism. There are plenty of other fish in the sea, and having to waste energy on someone who cancels all the time is not worth it. Trauma can be pervasive, and because everyone is different, we work through trauma in varied ways. All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. 3. We take a closer look at its causes, how it develops, and how to heal. If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married. The work for everyone is different because the reasons that led to hyper-independence were different. And shewill not apologize for that. 1. When you work with a therapist to treat hyper independence trauma, you may need treatment for PTSD or. They may guard their thoughts and feelings, even from people that they care about. Dr. Michael B. Sperling is a specialist in attachment disorders. Hyper-Independence and Trauma: What's the Connection? - Verywell Mind Becoming this type of woman make take time and practice. She isnt scared of making her own decisions. Overdependent definition and meaning | Collins English Dictionary According to Dr. Sperling, this type of attachment occurs when a child realizes that they cant count on the love, support, and protection of their caregivers. Related Post: 41 Phenomenal Hobbies For Women In Their 30s. When you are trying to change how independent you are, it is necessary to make sure that you arent trying to do everything. Thats because they fear encountering the same kind of pain they suffered in the past. Because of this, they can recognize when they are not getting paid enough for the work that they are doing, and they wont hesitate to negotiate with their employer until they are satisfied with their earnings. Nevertheless, both conditions almost always have a common element: childhood traumas. 19. You bet. For example, you might be overly independent because you learned that you could not trust others, so you can rely only on yourself. Perhaps you see your strength in developing healthy relationships with other people without resorting to co-dependent patterns. Being overly self-sufficient may lead one away from opportunities to exchange ideas, receive inspiration, and deepen relationshipsall interactions that foster growth. Consider letting a co-worker or friend take a task off your hands and see how they handle it. Because hyper-independence is a trauma response, trauma-informed care is an important component of this treatment. Essentially, my friend wondered if there are certain types of women that are, or would be, bad wives. All sheneeds is to feel comfortable in herown skin, to know how to provide for herself, and to have passions and interests and projects that exist outside of herdating life. 8 Things You Have To Do Differently When Dating Someone Who's Independent Perhaps you've depended on your abilities so long that asking for help seems like a fault. Instead, an independent woman just thinks of herself as someone who is ambitious, hard-working, and self-sustaining. It wasnt meant to be and shellbe happier with someone else. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. However, if you claim you dont need anyone, dont know how to live with others, and avoid all kinds of relationships for fear of being hurt, this isnt simply independence. Psychotherapy is the main treatment approach. Article Images Copyright , Banish the Unofficial Luggage of Foster Care. When someones need to be independent goes to an unhealthy extreme, this is hyper-independence. Another piece of evidence that defines the hyper-independent is feeling suffocated when they perceive that they start to need someone. When you are overly focused on your needs and your happiness, then you stop focusing on others. Shedoesntnag you, but shedoes expect you to put forth your best self. Hyper-independence refers to individual attempts to be fully independent in all things, even when it is not helpful to do so or when they truly need help or support from others. Besides that, you may start to notice that some things you do are causing you to become stressed. Until 1950 he presided over a coalition of CDU, Centre Party, SPD and (briefly . Trauma may have a lasting effect if it isnt treated and could lead to mental health conditions in some cases. Shejust knows how to balance it out with other things in order to keep herselffeeling fulfilled and happy. She doesnt wait around for someone to rescue her or tell her what to do. All rights reserved. . Hyper independent people have a hard time trusting others and asking for help, so it seems easier to them to accomplish everything without the aid of other people. Very good. No woman wantsto be a bad wife. Perrotta G. Affective dependence: from pathological affectivity to personality disorders: definitions, clinical contexts, neurobiological profiles and clinical treatments. While hyper-independence can cause problems, it likely helped you survive a traumatic situation if you developed this response. Women with "daddy issues" do not have . You may experience a hyper independence trauma response if your caregiver or parent could not give you consistency with your care when you were a child. What's Wrong With Being Independent? | Psychology Today Hyper-independence and hypervigilance a state of being on high alert and scanning for threats around you can be trauma responses. Medium How many kids do you have? I asked. Hyper Independence Trauma: Signs, Causes, And Treatment - HealthMatch Although hyper-independence can manifest differently depending on the individual, signs of hyper-independence can include: When a person experiences a disturbing, distressing, or life-threatening event that they are unable to cope with in a healthy way, this event is considered traumatic. Dr. Amy Marschall is an autistic clinical psychologist with ADHD, working with children and adolescents who also identify with these neurotypes among others. Even in small matters. Not subject to another's authority or jurisdiction; autonomous; free 14. 13. Value 4.0. This isnt to say a wife cant disagree or express disappointment. Money can trigger powerful negative emotions in relationships involving control, respect, power, inadequacy, and self-worth. If your hyper-independent traits are related to a past trauma, these thoughts and behaviors likely developed without your conscious awareness. Growing up with a narcissistic parent can have negative long-term effects on other relationships. How Being Too Independent Can Destroy Your Relationship - Marriage.com Shesgot a busy life and a lot going on, so if shelikes you enough, shehas no problem with using one of herrare spare moments to talk to you. How Childhood Trauma May Affect Adult Relationships. Methods to help manage hyper-independence Psychotherapy. She knows that sitting around and complaining is a waste of time. It may make more sense to them to do everything themselves, even if it is difficult to accomplish alone. Theyre those figures who never ask for help even if their whole world has collapsed around them. ent 1. Therapy aims to help improve your relationships, help you develop healthy coping methods, and ultimately move toward healing. Thomas Barwick/Getty Independence is typically viewed as a positive trait. People with posttraumatic stress disorder or another mental health issue triggered by a trauma history might experience hyper-independence. It means that youre strong and self-sufficient, that you can do things for yourself, and take on your own needs. This can involve isolated incidents like car accidents, assault, or recurring or generational events, such as ongoing abuse or racial discrimination. Having such high work goals also serves as an excuse to avoid all kinds of commitments. As an adult, our need for others is a reality we may have to work to accept. 76. Some people end up forcing relationships with people who are wrong for them out of fear or loneliness. Globalization can be seen in the economy, workplace, civic institutions, community organizations, educational institutions, etc. Location 4.6. If she wants to do something, she doesnt wait for someone to tell her that she is allowed to do it. Even in unhealthy scenarios, an overly dependent woman has difficulty severing ties. If she wants a family, she makes one. 12. By Amy Marschall, PsyD Hyper-independence is when you choose to be independent of everyone, even though it may negatively affect you. Three. What Are the Best Types of Therapy for Trauma? Shewants to find someone and share herlife with them. More information. If you are in a relationship, you may want to lean on your partner when you need help or advice. Shedoesnt believe that shesalways right, but shedoes believe shehas a right to herown opinions. A Woman of Independent Means is a 1995 American period drama television miniseries directed and produced by Robert Greenwald from a teleplay by Cindy Myers, based on the 1978 book of the same name by Elizabeth Forsythe Hailey.The miniseries stars Sally Field (who also served as an executive producer), with Ron Silver, Tony Goldwyn, Jack Thompson, Sheila McCarthy, Brenda Fricker, and Charles . It can be difficult to trust others and let them in. Medical Reviewers confirm the content is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research. This may be especially true in competitive families and kids who are gifted/talented. But once shes ready to push the button, she isnt scared to go for it. Your hyper-independent traits may have developed to protect you from further harm. What we simply mean is that a strong independent person can rise above negative ways of thinking and ultimately ignore them. Key points. Remember that change is always possible. We and our partners store and/or access information on a device, such as unique IDs in . It might feel like things have always been this way. This is related to attachment theory, which suggests that how you attach to your first caregiver will influence traits that become a part of your personality. In some cases, a person may be hyper independent and not know it. This is another sign that they may have this type of independence. She gets it accomplished and moves on with her life. Someone with hyper independence will likely be unable to lean on people for help or support. Today in politics and culture, more and more women are taking a stand and fighting back for the equal power that they deserve. Hyper-independence is a behavior in which a person is too independent and self-sufficient. Im not sure whether we heard it or if we made it up ourselves, but its kept us in tune with each other over three decades of marriage. Want to have a happier, healthier marriage? This is a recurrent trait. Ryan J, Chaudieu I, Ancelin ML, Saffery R. Biological underpinnings of trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder: focusing on genetics and epigenetics. Children who were parentified and experienced role reversal in the family. Also, independent women value their freedom and don't want to feel suffocated in a relationship. The discouraging woman makes her man feel like he cant do anything right, no matter how hard he tries. Muller, R. T., Sicoli, L. A., & Lemieux, K. E. (2000). You may be overly independent because you learned in the past that you could not trust others to meet your needs, and so you decided that it's best to rely on yourself to avoid any rejection or harm. Strong independent people know in their hearts that everyone is beautiful just the way they are. God gives only one command directed to wives: Wives see to it that you respect your husbands (Ephesians 5:33). 8. Shelldo whatever shewants, because as long as sheis having fun with you, it doesnt matter. It doesnt mean wives cant have hard conversations. Some days may be harder than others and this is something that is okay as well. You just met The One or maybe a shady character. For instance, friendships, families, and partners. Why is this bad? For some, ultra independence is a trauma response, meaning it may require treatment from a therapist, in order for a person to be able to make changes. This Sunday's Topic We hear it quite often, on television, in conversation, and even while arguing. Are some men are easier to respect than others? She is confident and believes in her abilities. She embraces the skills and resources that she and other people have equally and embraces everyone in a unique way. How can you support a loved one who is hyper-independent? Plus size store central Dusseldorf? - Dsseldorf Forum This can change after a while, but it is also something that hyper independent people may do to protect themselves. They might be waiting for the right opportunity to show you how much they care and that you can lean on them. This trait is present in the kinds of people who always reject any type of help, who walk freely through life avoiding relational commitments, and who say they prefer solitude to any type of . Conversely, the overly independent woman has difficulty cementing ties. She can even be dramatic, if necessary. There are certain types of men that make bad husbands, too. They will likely be able to offer you resources you cannot get elsewhere. Reply. If she likesyou, she doesntcare about what sheshould be doing and what kind of dates sheshould be going on. Emotionally, we need to feel that others understand in order to make sense of our own experience. Vivid memories and emotions from a traumatic experience can be frightening. 10 signs of hyper independence in a relationship, How is hyper independence a trauma response, 7 tips to stop being overly independent in relationships, How to Balance Dependence and Independence in a Relationship, 3 Common Relationship Questions to a Psychologist & Solutions, 30 Common Relationship Problems and Solutions, 25 Common Marriage Problems Faced by Couples & Their Solutions, Love-Hate Relationship: Symptoms, Causes, and Solutions, The 5 Challenges and Solutions of Being a Single Parent, 4 Effective Solutions To Domestic Violence, What To Do When You Feel No Emotional Connection With Your Husband, What Is Love? But there are ways to manage flashbacks. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event. Lets see what characteristics define the hyper-independent profile. A strong woman who is interested in physics goes for it, and those who have a love for IT dive in and learn whatever they can about technology. 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved. She doesnt post on social media to count the number of likes she gets, and she doesnt fish for compliments when she is out with her friends. Were referring to those resentful kinds of people who end up losing their opportunities to achieve enriching relationships. Although we still have a long way to go, women have more control today than ever before over their careers, bodies, finances, and lifestyles. Being overly self-sufficient may lead one away from opportunities to exchange ideas, receive inspiration, and deepen relationshipsall interactions that foster growth. Cookies collect information about your preferences and your devices and are used to make the site work as you expect it to, to understand how you interact with the site, and to show advertisements that are targeted to your interests. Everyone struggles at some point. She doesnt blame other people for her feelings. They may feel they dont have anyone to count on besides themselves. The Overly-Independent Woman [Setting The Tone Radio] - Archive.org Does A Friends With Benefits Relationship Actually Work? It does not substitute the opinion of an expert at any time. Select from the 0 categories from which you would like to receive articles. The Bear Season 2 Serves A Hearty Helping Of Character Depth, How NOT To Raise a Narcissist: A Step-By-Step Guide, Remembering Miranda Priestlys Most Vicious Lines on the 17th Anniversary of The Devil Wears Prada, Gabrielle Union on What She Has In Common With Her The Perfect Find Character, The Romantic Comedy You Should Watch This Summer, Based On Your Zodiac Sign. His experiences have taught him that being an honest friend who communicates well and giving importance to self-love can go a long way in maintaining loving relationships. Its striking how, on occasions, something thats perceived as a strong kind of independence can reveal a deeper problem, as in the case of psychological trauma. An independentwoman will not play games with you. The whole idea is, I need to protect me, and no one is ever going to do this to me again.. The Meli Dsseldorf is located in the heart of Dsseldorf, opposite the Hofgarten, Germany's oldest public park. You may need to change your mindset, let go of some limiting beliefs, and take some risks. You'll realize that people who are independent not only value but prioritize their space and alone time. Hyper-independent people tend to believe the only good ideas are their own and strongly resist following other people's advice and guidance. Some peoples trauma includes going through periods when their needs were not met, and so they can develop hyper-independent tendencies in an effort to survive. Shesnot looking for someone to support herfinancially. When you first discover that your independent nature sometimes prevents you from true intimacy, you may be . If they can assist you in a small way, you may understand that you can ask for help on something bigger. 15. She may fear commitment. in Not influenced or controlled by others in matters of opinion, conduct, etc; thinking or acting for oneself 2. In fact, we are so good at surviving traumatic events that our genetic expression can change in response to trauma, passing the trauma response down to our offspring through intergenerational trauma. She wont tell her partner shes dismissing his need or preference; shell simply ignore it. Hyper-independence can develop in response to trauma for various reasons. Plain and simple, it hurts. Hyper-independence is one trauma response that can be maladaptive. When she has a problem, she confidently chooses a course of action to fix it. For many of us, success goes hand in hand with self-sufficiency. 15 Things You Should Know When Dating an Independent Woman - Marriage.com Why does she behave this way? 5 Celebrities with Strong Christian Marriages, This site is a proud member of the Salem Web Network, a subsidiary of, Copyright 2023, Crosswalk.com. Because, while its true that its healthy to develop a sense of freedom with which to decide and act for yourself, there are those for whom this leads to somewhat pathological behavior. She doesnt wallow in self-recriminations or self-pity. Finally, know that support is available. According to counselor and author Dr. Joanne Frederick, hyper-independence shows up as a perspective of I versus we. This can look like: Hyper-independence can be related to a past trauma. Keep up with Kim on Instagram and Twitter. 17 Dating Habits Of An Extremely Independent Woman Emotional Dependency: What It Looks Like and How to Stop It - Healthline 18. Have you ever noticed that your mate never asks you for help, even for simple tasks? People I know trust that I can take care of myself when traveling long and short distances. Gods plan is a win for both sides. Only in this way do they avoid the risk of being injured or betrayed. Disrespect doesnt always come in the form of words. Posted September 28, 2014 It's fun to be able to laugh at the same things with your relationship partner. No man wants to marry one, either. She is aware of what needs to be done and she does it. As a matter of fact, this type of behavior is shaped by fear, as with most dysfunctional behaviors. If so, then you may be familiar with this type of independence. 11. The effects of trauma on intimate relationships: A qualitative study with clinical couples. You dont have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that if a good wife is trustworthy, a bad wife isnt. A dismissive woman devalues or diminishes her spouses preferences, opinions or desires. Traumatic events can be single experiences, like a car accident or natural disaster, or they can be chronic and ongoing like neglect or abuse. Pushing against help or support from others due to a need to be independent or hyper-independent is a common trauma response. People use the phrase "daddy issues" to refer to father-daughter relationships that have a negative impact on the way a woman relates to men. If you put yourself out there and talk to someone, you may find that they are willing to be a friend to you and a person that you can trust. Other Reasons for That Lead to Hyper-Independence, Fawning: What to Know About the People-Pleasing Trauma Response, 5 Types of Adversity and Ways to OvercomeThem, Vicarious Trauma: The Cost of Care and Compassion. Being A Strong Independent Woman Doesn't Mean I Want to Do - LinkedIn While some level of independence is important and useful, a need to be overly independent can feel isolating and cause additional stress. 12. She can cut to the chase and doesnt let people get off the hook when they cross her boundaries or act inappropriately. As a strong, independent woman, you are self-reliant and can do things on your own, but you also know when you need input, support, and partnership. If she believes someones behavior is out of line, shell call them out on it. Are You Balanced Between Being Dependent and Independent? Hyper-independence is an extreme form of independence that can lead to both personal and relational issues. It made me think. If your partner is a loner who doesnt talk to others much and doesnt worry about what other people do or think about them, chances are they are ultra-independent. Examine where you need to become more independent in your actions, decisions, and ideas, and make small changes to reclaim your personal power. She never blames other people for her situation.

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